Im at strip club and am horny
so explain again why im purple
no
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
