you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
