i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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