About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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