It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize