p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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