hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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