Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
