I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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