Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
