grandma shit on top of the toilet
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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