Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
