new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize