I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize