So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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