Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
