just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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