dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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