I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
