i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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