Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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