If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
