Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
