In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
