Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
