ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
