Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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