Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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