oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
