You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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