I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
