dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
