Will you blow on my dice?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
