As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
