Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
