Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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