I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
