can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it's like iHOP with fire
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
