I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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