i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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