Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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