the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Boobs are out for the taking
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize