I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can't turn off my feet"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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