if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
