Tell her she can't have a vagina
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
