Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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