I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
