Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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