I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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