ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
