nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Nicole vs. Life
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
