rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
