escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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