Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
