Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
