anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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