Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
