Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
