Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Dear god my vagina.
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