Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
as a side note pls kill me
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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