yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
