that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
