I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
