this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Randomize