Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize