K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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