Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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