u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
