Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
