I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
