My Higher Power is John Stamos
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
