I want to have your abortion
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
