My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
