i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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